What is the most important technology every business should understand to make his/her business successful?
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the battery operated dildo.
the gun of the hand
makes me tremble, makes me poo
please dont point that thing
there is a delivery truck stuck in my yard this morning - i am slipping teflon coated 357 magnum shells into their proper place in hopes of a conflict. It is interesting to me how different cultures settle conflicts. mostly, in america, certainly in these parts, we are heavily invested in some old testament resolution. an eye for an eye, a Lowes delivery truck for a front yard. and so forth. i have to say i am very excited about having been included in the babytown registry with my friend jessie, who is having a baby.
the truck is making a second effort, i am taking off the night scope and lazer, as it is early morning and my vision is sufficient to locate a well placed group in the paneling of this fire breathing dragon of a piece of shit delivery truck. i just hope everyone understand it isn't personal, it is about my hostas, which the deer have mostly elliminated anyways. today, i buy a solar powered motion detector light to plant out in the yard - and a 3.06 just in case. I'm thinking of going with a soft point and lite grain load as it is probably a yearling that doesn't know any better, and I will get a clean head shot. I dreamed last night of three separate instances where my whole family was trapped in a car that was sinking in a canal I had never been too. usually my dreams are repetitious, but this one was fresh and new and mildly terrifying. more later.
Forlorn and waiting in the lobby with his mukluks on, the young Eskimo had no sense of possession and only a seasonal relationship to time. he wondered how the interview would go as he thumbed through Times greatest people of 2008 - stopping occasionally to stumble awkwardly through the captions.
his grandfather had been killed by a polar bear, and this made him both hate, and revere polar bears. After avenging his grandfather's death by stalking, killing and then eating the heart and liver of the bear responsible; he then vowed never to hunt again. and that is why he was in the corporate office of Exxon oil in Fairbanks, waiting to see a personnel director and to be interviewed, perhaps hired. his mukluks gleamed with seal grease and beads of water. he had brought the penis bone from a walrus to give him power and good fortune, it hung from a sling around his shoulder, over 17 inches long, he felt it was a good penis bone, and was thankful his father had given it to him on the day of his birth.
His people were from the clan of the carabou, they followed the carabou for 1000 years, so the story goes, many many cycles of light and dark, there are no days in the arctic,only cycles of light and dark and time is the sun slowly making it's way back above the horizon or slowly dropping from it. the young Eskimo had come to be interviewed where there were days, and this alone, he thought to himself as he bounced the walrus bone off his hip in rythm to his clan's wanderer's chant, which he hummed softly to himself, was reason enough to think himself an outsider, of which he most definately was.
he had gotten a venti mocha latte at starbucks, after much gesturing and a inovative story dance he performed by the cd rack of reproduced greatest hits by carly simon and usher. the caffiene, which he had never had before, made him edgy and excitable. he was eager for the interview to begin. he took a small slug of dried carabou meat from his travel puch, and began to render it soft with saliva. he chewed slowly and with thoughtfulness as he watched the receptionshipnist, who was white, and ghostlike, which of course is what he assumed her to be. he had been amazed by all of the walking dead when he got off the air shuttle - he had heard they would be numerous, but to see these white skinned souls, doomed, as it was said, to walk forever through all cycles of light, had been a shock and a wonderment.
he wished he had brought some tobaco. he missed his grandfather and was sorry to have given up the hunt. He thought of his grandmother chewing carabou sinew to make rope and dog leads. he wondered if the ghost girl at starbucks had understood the intricacies of his story dance.all of this going through his head a mile a minute - the receptionists interupted with, "the human resources director will see you now". the young Eskimo rose from his chair, spit the carabou lug into a plant holder, resheathed the walrus totem, straightened his tie and walked into a what the elders refered to as, "the place where happiness goes to die".
Which small businesses are hurt most by rising gas prices? What can they do to save money?
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young couples who have "left everything behind", usually meaning the city and well paying jobs, to move as far away from human resources as possible in order to either experience nature, one another, or their newly born child in an uninhibited and pristine location. most often, these couples end buying a failing bakery, failing bed and breakfast, try and stimulate the local ceramics and folk art industry - previously non existent - or start a nonprofit that benefits a need in the local community, because they have law degrees and know how.
what they do to best save money is to either go back where they came from, be industrial enough to enter the real local economy, which is almost always timber, mining, service industry or construction, OR, they can go out to that nice red barn that caught their eye on that first wonderful drive through the area that is now their home, and they can throw a rope over one of the authentic hand hewn rafters - two ropes actually - and they can hang themselves.
in my opinion
bve
life is what happens while you are making other plans, or something like that. breakfast is what happens when you wake up in the morning, coffee is what happens in about fifteen minutes if i am so lucky. grief is what happens when life stops happening and plans are wrapped up. existentially speaking, breakfast is what happens only if you 'are', if you are not, then the idea of breakfast wanders through the cosmos waiting to be eaten by someone who deosn't waste their time wondering about existentialism, but more about breakfast. if your shoes are too tight, your children will grow up with horrible frowns and low IQs.
today is the last day of the rest of my life, no wait, today is the next day of the next of my life, uh, tomorrow is the first day of the rest of the week, anyway, this morning is the first night of the rest of my shopping list. mostly experimenting this morning with pulling i-tune files over to this site.....
this here is what we call a nudibranche or sea slug - they comes in various fine colors and mostly is toxic, which is their main defense, well, theoretically, their main defense is/are their bright and fine colors, which speak out to the marine environment of which they exist in; saying, I am bright and fine and full of colors, not unlike Jacobs coat of many colors, do not eat me. which leads me to an aside, was Joseph’s coat made of many colors to teach us lesson in paternal favoritism and brotherly jealousies, or was it a subliminal message of which the main text was, oh dear god, please do not eat me, for I am poisonous - and to follow man's history, it would certainly be arguable that throughout history, color and display has been a significant tool of display, almost exclusively used to attract mates or to avoid physical altercation - for back in time, to be injured seriously in battle, whether and animal or a man, was almost certain and slow and painful death - example, soldiers in the civil war - what would be considered minor wounds by today's standards killed a majority of the participants of such wounds. Septicemia would set in. (nice) gangrene that is, swimming pools, movie stars. Anyways, the nudibranche is a fine and colorful little softbody, phylum, mollusk, which also includes another one of my favorite animals, the cuttlefish.
The cuttle fish is referred to as the sentient mollusk, in that it has an amazing intellect and impressive adaptability. Able to change colors and basically mimic any of its surroundings, as well, can use display tactics, but not as impressively as, say, an octopus. Whereas the nudibranche maintains a stasis of amazingly bright and formidable color, mindlessly trudging through its life daring god to eat it. The cuttlefish, the sentient mollusk, has adapted to a life of forever changing, in hopes of avoiding god all together I can only assume. More later.
the small furless mammal lunged for my coffee, its two smallish yet terribly charp front teeth grazing the top of my coffee hand. i am sure my fate now is to die from rabies. they say if you can remove the head of the animal which bit you, and take it to Raleigh, it can be determined exactly if you have rabies. two things: i am sorry i shaved the small mammal bald, and secondly, I wish my exwife would bite me, because i am pretty sure it doesn't matter what kind of animal head you use. black kitty and krazy kat are duking it out. time for more coffee.
yesterday i bought a variety of tall grasses to plant in my front yard. i am thinking the neighbors will decide, upon this one action, to adore me as christ was adored by his disciples, though i am sure he didn't purchase fine grasses,nor did he plant them in his front yard. my neighbors drive very very nice imported suvs and are very well groomed. things will only go badly if i can't win their adoration and respect. i think they suspect i am a libertarian, not just because i approach them in the nude with a hat made from parrot feathers perched upon my gigantic and rounded off head, but more because, whenever they drive by, i shout, 'i am a libertarian, adore me and my beautiful store bought grasses of which i am planting in my front yard in order to obtain your approval and adoration....."
yesterday i went and saw babymama, she is beautiful and has a baby in her tummy. i pray to the St. doodles every day that it is my child and shall be blessed with the stigmata - this will surely endorse my feelings of stewardship and strikingly odd need to parent well.
today, i will buy the magic shoes.
